I went to some hospital for a test. They made me get into this elevator wearing one of those paper dress examination gowns. The thing dissolved or something and wound up naked when the doors opened on the crazy people floor. I curled up in the corner and nurses came in and tried to take my blood. I was saying what you might expect, 'get me some clothes,' 'what's going on' blah blah. They were placating me and speaking as if I were a baby. They kept calling me by this name and I said my name. Some dude says, "Oh that's a new one." And another guy asks, "How many personalties does that make?" They said I had multiple personalities. I showed them my plastic bracelet that had my name on it. And yelled I'm here for a test. I'm not crazy. (shut up!) The nurse goes "Ooohh wait here." I laid on my stomach so only my butt was showing cuz I didn't care if anyone saw my butt, lol. I waited and waited. I saw a person I went to elementary school and told her to run cuz this hospital was crazy but first to get me some clothes. She got me some pajamas. I went to a desk to yell, but no one was there. All the hospital employees were gone. I found a person mopping the floor and he told me that they were afraid I was going to sue them so they all left. I got outside and flagged down a car. It was a mom and her teen son. They said that hospital was a sham and not even licensed. I was lucky. Still in the pajamas but wearing blue & white sneaks, I saw the nurse and started running down this hill. She saw me and ran back into this restaurant. When I ran into the restaurant, I knew everyone in there and they hadn't seen her. Somone said she may have ran up to the deck because there's another entrance to the street at the top of the hill. Someone up there told me she had run through the door, but by the time I gout outside she was gone.

I swear I don't drink or eat before bed.

Oh, you remember the last dream? My neighbor who mad a guess appearance has throat cancer and went into hospital about 2 weeks after I had the dream. He's been going in and out since. His family moved him to a hospice facility.

Give an underprivileged woman the opportunity to have a free mammogram. Go to the breast cancer website and click the pink button.

Yellow Fever my beige booty! The Japanese rock my socks. They have invented pen computers. I'm sure most of us have seen the light keyboard that connects to a desk or laptop. Toshiba along with a company called OKI will soon be selling a pen that not only projects the keyboard, but the monitor as well. No word on how it would connect to the internet or even if it does. I found this article for the techies.   Here are some photos:











THIS IS WHAT I CALL AN ADULT TOY!!!

What the harry hell!!??? A father in China taught his son how to light his cigs. Now the 18 month old "smokes" a pack of cigarettes a day. The father claims he did not know cigarettes were bad. Uh, pops, did you read the fucking pack. Alright, maybe he can't rude. How rural is his damn community? He also claims he didn't know how bad his son was addicted until he started throwing tantrums if he didn't get his nicotine fix. This numbnuts actually applied to Guiness Book of World Records to have his son named as the youngest smoker in the world. Of course Guiness denied it due to the act being harmful to the child.

So, what's next? Does he kid need the patch or maybe some nicotine gum? He's like a little crack baby, all fucked up but hopefully not for life. That child might have cancer cells looming some place. I swear man, that dad is an idiot! That's what the Guiness ap should've said, World's Dumbest Dad. (Check the source. There's a picture of the kid and his cigarette.)

source

                              (2 Feb 1947 - 25 June 2009)

I knew it was coming because of the type of cancer Farrah had so it was no surprise, but her death still has hurt me to my heart.  Most people looked at her and saw a sexy woman (and she was that no doubt), but to me she was much more.   She was one of my idols as a child.  She was a fighter and part of her story reminded me of Marilyn Monroe in that they both struggled to be taken as a serious actress, a fight in which Farrah was more successful.  I don't think anyone who has seen her performance in movies like "A Burning Bed" and "Extremities" would think she was a fluff actress.   Too bad her contemporaries didn't allow her to leave the sexy symbol label behind.  She was nominated for several awards including the Emmy and Golden Globes.   I still have her doll, you can tell how much I played with it just by looking.  I always wished she had never met Ryan O'Neal and his drug/alcohol addicted family.   I also wished she had managed to get away from him because, though he was by her side until the end, I believed she could done better.  I'm really gonna miss this angel.


(29 August 1958 - 25 June 2009)

I refuse to post a current photo, because he looks horrible.  No matter what I would prefer to remember in his brown phase, lol.  I was never a big fan of Michael as a solo artist, but I did love J5 and The Jacksons.   I know he was an oddball, putting it lightly and in the past I have been a big, shall we say naysayer (shut up Scott) about the parentage of his children and his antics, but I never believed he was a molester.  It ashame his career will always be marred by allegations.  I know many people are extremely saddened over his death and for you I truly sorry.  He was taken to the hospital in cardiac arrest so chances are he was dead by the time the paramedics picked him up.  I know the last time I saw him perform (with 'Nsync) he had to sit.  I don't know what caused his heart to stop, but I can guess.  There's no denying a huge talent has left this world.  

I feel sorry for all those both of these celebs have left behind.

This is probably the best PSA Ever!


I went to the site.  The site is sponsored by Haagen Dazs and has information on bees and how to to donate to honeybee research and/or to plant your own honeybee garden.

I had so much fun today all by myself in my living room.  It was Club Enigma up in here.  I was dancing (ok chair dancing.. I could win awards I tell you) like crazy.  I know I must look insane.  Ask me if I care?  G'head ask me.  C'mon.  I'll wait.   NO!  I don't.  I had to work today and to get myself through the day my brain choose some dance music as my accompaniment.  There I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and singing RuPaul's "Jealous of My Boogie."   Don't be jealous of my boogie.  Don't be jealous of my boogie.  You can say that you are not.  But I always see you lookin'. 

I watched the first season of RuPaul's Drag Race (it was fun) and he did a video for his song Covergirl with his final 3 "ladies".  I went to the network's website and found quite a number of videos.   After Ru's Covergirl came Miss Peppermint Gummybear (no I did not make that up) singing "I Thought You Knew."  That got me moving.  I absolutely loved it.  It reminded me of the days I used to go to gay clubs.  Ask me why?  G'head ask me.  Ok shut up I'll tell you.  Because I didn't have to worry about being hit on or some ass putting drugs in my drink.  I could dance, sweat, and not care. 

From there I went to Ru's Tranny Chaser.  That is my joint!  The drum machine was working overtime.  After about the 3rd time listening to it, I started hearing the verses.  HONEY!!!  I was out done.   I started laughing so hard I must've sounded like a canine howling at the moon.  Probably only women who have hung out with gay men and gay men themselves (especially nellie boi's) would find it hilarious.  I immediately missed my "girls" in the drag show at 8th Air Command.  
 

It was time to pull out the dance cds & remixes.  woo hoo  I used to have this great cd I bought from New Orleans, but someone stole it.  It was #6 in a dance cd series called You Go GIrl.  I haven't been able to find it anywhere.  I loved that cd.  It's time for me to buy some new stuff.  While I go shopping, you can check out Miss Peppermint. 
( see the fierce )

I just asked lucindalunacy if she ever saw an albino peacock.  I was going to email it to her then I thought why not just post the photos.  I didn't take these myself, but I think he's beautiful.  His plummage almost looks like a snowflake or those white weeds people like to blow but shouldn't (I forget the name).  They also kind of look like shooting stars.



I hope there are albino pea hens as regular ones go for the bright colorful green & blues.



I love the little crown.  Looks like the ugly duckling just turned into a swan, er, peacock. 

I know this is rude and unfeeling, but I gotta get this off my chest.  That face implant lady looks like a fucking monster!  I swear when I first saw a photo of her I jumped.  I was truly startled.  That doesn't even happen when I watch horror movies.  Producers spend millions to get us to jump and for me it's money wasted.  Put her photo out there and I get the heebee jeebees.  I mean damn.  I know she didn't have a face, but was it really worse than what she's got now.  She switched monster for monster, phantom of the opera for Frankenstein's monster or Chunk from the Goonies.  Everytime I see her I have a negatve shivery reaction and wind up thinking, 'Ruth. Ruth. Baybeee?  Ruth.'   Was it really worth it?  Seriously.  Was it?  I guess for her it was and I suppose that's all that matters.  *shrug*  Mind you, if she looked worse, I don't wanna see it.  The surgeons who guinea pigged her into that face should be shot.   Obviously, it'll be years before a face transplant is anywhere near perfected.  

Yeah, I know, I'm not right, ill in the head, and downright mean.  So?  I'm also a non-pc bitch.  That's why you love me.  *bats eyelashes*

I tossed and turned all night.  I didn't fall asleep until after 4am; you'd think I would have rested soundly, but nooooo.  I had one of my weird dreams that makes me think somebody's gonna be sleeping with the fishes soon.  As per usual, I just don't know who.  OK check this out:

Dessert setting.  Woman, who looks suspiciously like Samantha Carter from SG-1, is speaking to another woman.  The woman is somewhat aloof.  Sam drives off wondering what's up w/her friend.  She comes back later on foot to investigate and runs into her friend's husband, who looked suspiciously like James Cromwell.  He tells her she's in the new barn.  Sam opens the door and finds her friend inside the steele enforced building.  Before she could think Gavin Rossdale (man, I dunno.  I don't even know what he looks like but that's the name that was in my dream) slams the door.   The friend, who had really short hair before, has really long hair and is lookin' raggedy.  She says to Sam, how could you think that was me?  Next thing I know, Sam is macgyvering some kind of time machine out of parts she's pulled out the barn and was talking about fractal units or something.  Rossdale comes in to stop, but the woman kick his butt and lock him between the 2 doors (before there was only one).  The woman get into the teleportation ring thingy and wind up going back in time like 3 days.  There's a shoot out and stuff.

So next thing I know they're in a jeep heading for the highway.  I, the me inside of me, looked underneath the highway which appears to be made out of, um, you know those desk games that look like steele pins that you can you hand in and it holds the shape?  Well, the highway was like that and it kept showing the likeness of Homer Simpson.  I DO NOT KNOW!!!   Next thing I know I'm in a get away vehicle that looks like Fred Flinstones car.  *shrug*  Stop asking, I said I don't know.  Along the side of the highway I see pix of the Scooby Gang except they're all grown up.  Everybody is recognizable except Velma who looks like Joyce DeWitt from Three's Company crossed with Adrian Barbeau.  eeep  Anywho, there was something about a hot air balloon and escape.
 
( more crazy )

I have unwittingly stumbled upon some kind of underground web series movement or something.   It's no secret that I watch a lot ...ok.. TONS of Asian tv shows.  (Seriously, you guys are missing out on good stuff.)  Anyway, I found out that there's this web drama starting this summer called Lumina.  I guess you would catergorize it as a fantasy romance.  A woman falls in love with a guy.  No big deal there.  Unfortunately for the woman, her new beau lives behind the mirrors in her house (and other reflective services).  Talk about through the looking glass.  It sounds interesting and the trailer looks tight.  Big up for me is that it's all in English.  HOT DAMN HALLELUJAH!!  The trailer is on the homepage of the site I've linked.  

I went to a site where I get most of my drama files from called d-addicts and posed the question, is a web series a real drama.  Of course I got some traditionalist that went down definitions and such.   He mentioned other web dramas specifically those made in Hawai'i.  jigga wa?  HAWAII!!  He mentioned a series called Blood of the Samurai.  Never heard of it?  Me either.   It came out a few years ago.  It was Hawai'i's first martial arts web series.  That's what the commercial says.  See:



By saying it's the first begs for 2 questions to be asked.  First, are there others or is it Hawai'i's only martial arts series?  Secondly, have non-martial arts web series been produced in Hawai'i?  From what Mr. Traditionalist said, a Hawai'ian community tv station produces some series but I couldn't find any proof of Olelo producing anything.  But my looking was half assed.  I stumbled upon an article about web series.  Of course it mentioned lonelygirl15 (I can't see watching that) and Dr. Horrible's.  Joss Whedon is gungho for webseries!  Hoorah!  Can you smell the sarcasm?  I found a lot of information on webseries but very few webseries themselves.  Yeah they look low budget.  Some look better than others, but I'll give them a chance.  Dr. Horrible's was fantastic (it wasn't low budget either).  What's my point?  I don't really have one, lol.  I just find webseries interesting.  Dang it just hit me I neve finsihed that one starring Rosario Dawson.  Oh well.  I'm going ot check out this one called The Resistance.  If you come across any action ones let me know.

British scientist (the 2 words together make me giggle kinda like British dentist) have put their brains together and decided that fat people cause global warming.  They claim that overweight people consume more food thus causing increases in food production, a leading cause in CO2 emissions.   They also claim overweight people are more likely to drive than "normal" (what is normal?) people.  Britains own Dr. Phil (Edwards), of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: “Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler.”   Wow!  Did he just compare people to cars?   I have to say all those people in sports cars, SUVs, and Hummers might have an advantage in that race. 

Now, it would seem to me that had governments (at least mine) not sought to but the farmer out of business, their would be no or very little CO2 emissions.  Oh wait, they first blamed GW on cow flatulence though didn't they?  Kill all cows!!  Down with moo!   And let's talk about cars.  Alternative fuels, electric & hydro cars were developed decades ago, but their efficiency wouldn't like the pockets of the car makers so they were scrapped.  Instead of forcing them to manufacturer ONLY environmental friendly cars, the US (the USA being the #1 user of fuel in the world.. don't blame me.. I don't drive)  government just threw money at them and said 'keep up the good work'.  But it's overweight people that are the problem.  

Now, I've watched burly muscle men shove down enough food to feed a family of 4 in one sitting.  I've also watched overweight people eat a meal served to them in a restaurant.  Granted, American portions are huge, but I've seen many an overweight person take home a doggy bag, too.   It seems to me it's not that most overweight people eat that much more than everyone else.  Overweight people tend to eat the wrong foods.  I gained a shitload of weight because I stopped eating at home and, though I'm a damn good cook, I'm not particularly fond of cooking.  I know that.  I'm trying to staighten myself out.  It's a process.  HOWEVER, I certainly don't eat alot.  I actually probably eat less than most "normal" sized people.  So, who causes more CO2 emissions.  The big thick necked guys who can eat a pound of meat at one time?  Or people standing in line at the lunch cart for fish & chips or pizza.   Somehow, I'm thinking it's the big thick necked guys.

When they do a study on all the carnivorous atheletic types, let me know.   You know the ones the drive to & from the gym.  That drive to and from the market in their family sedans without the family.  The ones that drive to the train station and back.   Those people.  Let me know.  Until then British scientist (there I go giggling again), kiss my fat ass!

Cancer claimed the life of a wonder actress today.  Stage and screen actress Bea Arthur died today and the acting world is the sadder for it.  I realize most people knew Ms. Arthur from her tv series Maude (spinoff from All in The Family) and The Golden Girls, but the first time I saw her was in the movie Mame with another of my beloved actresses, Lucille Ball.   Whether on stage or on screen, she was a force to reckon with.  She was a tall, witty, and intelligent actress and the roles she's most known for let little girls know it's our right to have opinions and to express them.  She was one of my first role models when I thought of becoming an actress.  All the actresses around were petite and Arthur closed my Amazonian Trio (Ball, Arthur, and the wonderful Eve Arden), 3 woman that stood taller than they actually were.  I'll miss knowing she's in the world.

Last week I called the claims department for my benefits to claim hours I didn't work under FML (Family Medical Leave), for which I had already applied and saw no reason for which I'd be denied, especially since the neck & spine specialist said he was alright with covering days I'd taken prior to my appointment with him. Well, they questioned him and had him (or more likely his assistant) fill out more paperwork without my knowledge. He filled them out completely different from the way they were filled out previously and took out the part about my being unable to work 8 hours straight and needing 1-3 hours off daily. Of course the bens people didn't question the discreptancies and they denied my time for March and most of my time since I've seen this doctor this month. They claim he only said I need 1 - 8 hour absence a week. That would be fine since I usually take 1 to 2 hours daily, but the way they figure is that's 1 day. If I take 2 hours, I screw myself out of the other 6. They won't allow me to accrue 8 hours for the week. That doesn't do anything for me.

Where does this leave me? Waving in the wind without a tether that's where. I have an appointment with him Wednesday (after having an arguement with his assistant last week) to see if he will amend what he sent in and approve the other days from April. As for March, I have to appeal it with medical documentation. How in the hell am I gonna get documentation for every day that I took an hour off which was damn near every day? I don't go running to doctors like that. In fact I hate the fucks.. no offense to any MDs, like law, it's a profession I find is set up to keep people behind the 8 ball for the most part and practiced by people who can't see the forest for the trees or the herbs for tthe toxicity. What doctor do I go to? I'll ask my GP, but I dunno. So, basically, if I appeal and it doesn't go my way, I'm canned. Almost everyone in my office that has had to appeal one of their decisions has been fired, except for my girl, D who told them to kiss her big flabby white ass. She's my shero, lol. They put you on disciplinary action for taking time you don't have and/or not coming to work and then promptly fire you, unless there is work piled up. If there's work to do, they use you then fire you. People have had some serious crap, too. For instance D was coming back after the death of her sister and mother (both due to cancer) then she found out she had it and had a hysterectory. Something happened to her back and legs and she couldn't walk. They told her she had to come back to the office (like me she worked from home). She couldn't. I mean the woman couldn't walk or stay seated for long periods what did they want from her? There are similar stories. I'm no different. I have no hopes that they will repeal their decision and approve my March hours.

I need to be worried. I'm not. My plan was to quit in November on my anniversary anyway. The job market just got f'd. I wanted to go part time but their p/t offer was crap. Starbucks maybe? Just playin'. When I was downsized out of my previous (high paying) job, I got a severence that was a year's salary. I'm not gonna get a cracker from this place. AND... well, let's just say when the market went belly up, I lost my comma and leave it at that. I don't live paycheck to paycheck, but I definitely don't have enough to hold out for a year or even 6 months. There's not much more I can cut back on. I no longer get my hair professionally done. I no longer get massages. Hell, I don't even go out the house except for the Supermarket so I won't spend too much. I haven't taken a vacation in 8 years. Before I got my hair done whenever the mood struck me, pedi/mani & massages monthyly. I took 2 big vacations yearly and weekend trips almost every damn month. I own my home, am childless & single, and I don't drive.

I stopped my job search because I was in pain. Who wants to inteview feeling or looking like Igor (ok I'm not that bad but I may as well be). Too bad one of my best friends just moved from the LA area recently. Miles would have a PA for DY to pick on quicker than he thought. If I lose this job, I'm really gonna have to sell my house and leave Philadelphia. There really isn't anything here and a sista does not do construction. Well, this one doesn't anyway.

It's funny I was seriously listening to "A Better Life" by Ian Pooley feat. Esthero. I decided to search for a video. It's odd, but I kinda like it.

Did I tell you guys I hurt my shoulder and it was difficult to type?  Well, turns out it's my neck.  I just had an MRI today.  That's why I haven't really been around.  I'll try to do better.  I know I missed some birthdays so Happy Belated Everyone!!  Sorry.  Here's like one of the coolest things ever.  Street performers from NOLA to Russia performing Stand By Me.   It gives me chills.

A makeup artist I know recently moved to Malaysia. He linked this video on his blog of Malaysia's Dithyrambic singers. This might be the stuff of nightmares.

It's a show with all comics.  Just wait 'til he gets to the numbers.  Japanese are worse than nuns with yardsticks.

I thought this was kinda cool for a left brain vs. right brain test.

Look at the dancer below.  Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or counter clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning  counter clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS uses logic detail oriented facts rule words and language present and past math and science can comprehend knowing acknowledges order/pattern perception knows object name reality based forms strategies practical safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS uses feeling "big picture" oriented imagination rules symbols and images present and future philosophy & religion can "get it" (i.e. meaning) believes appreciates spatial perception knows object function fantasy based presents possibilities impetuous risk taking

According to the report, only 14% of American can see 2 different directions, how about you? Actually, if someone is beside you, ask them watch the picture together and you will realize answer is individual and is always not the same, sounds cool right?

Let's Begin.....

Sometime in November I hurt my shoulder. The pain got worse and worse. Sometime in February the pain stopped but the tingling started. Some time between laying my head down late at night the day of my birth/early in the am the day after my birth the pain returned with a venegance! I think it might be a combo of arthirits (no one ever tells the tomboy when you grow up you're gonna have aches & pains frome injuries) and a pinched nerve. I have to be in a stupid position just to type. Been through all kinds of painkillers. They don't kill anything. Only way to sleep? Sip brandy before going to bed. I'm not a fan of doing that every night. I've got tylenol w/coedeine now. It has somewhat deadened, but I'm still in pain. At least now, I can concentrate. Whereas the last 2 days after work I have been in tears from the pain and couldn't spell my own name right if you asked me. Wish me luck.My friend, The Paul (s'what I call him), sent me 3 Astonishing X-Men graphic novels and Studio Ghibli: The Great Collection (17 Hayao Miyazaki mwhahahahahahahaaa includes 5 I've never seen). Today, I received The Secrets of Baking by Sherry Yard. It came right in time. I've been kicking around the idea of making my li'l sis her favorite dessert, creme brulee, and a croquembouche for her baby shower. There are some really tasty looking desserts in the book. There aren't many photos, but that's cool. It looks like Yard gives a basic recipe and then variations, ie classic creme b. then there's ginger, passion fruit, etc.I've started looking into voice acting. I use to love acting when I was younger. I'm not sure I'd like (or even could be) in front of the camera anymore. A voice is good to me. I'm in the process of developing a me plan... again. This time, I'm sticking to it. Lastly, I was challenged to write a children's story. I failed miserably. Allyson don't do lollipops and rainbows. I dunno what kid would like what I came up with. Tim Burton's kids maybe? *shrug* I tried a few years a go to write a children's book. I got bored. I'm gonna try again. One day.